You are one of millions of British parents whose children have been take by these mothers who see no evil in taking children from fathers. This is now very common and most fathers feel so abused by family law workers who on hearing of these cases, go into direct combat with the father. Sometimes falsely accusing him of abuse or saying the father is not fit to look after or even speak to or see his own children. They come up with such allegations because in a UK family court they do not need to be proved.
The sooner millions of children taken in these secret family courts are returned, the safer our children will be. And if the child is old enough to speak, the family courts will not allow the child to say anything in favour of the father.
This is a state funded industry usually fuelled by a woman's anger at her
ex partner, and it is the most spiteful thing she can do. And it is happening to millions of fathers, and also to mothers.
You have my condolences, you are not alone.
There will come a day when this is outlawed and the children and parents who have been cut in half by family law will be reunited.
Get real mate! You had acess to your baby and you gave it up because of your unrealistic demands. Even 10 minutes a week supervised access, is better than none at all. You should have carried on with the supervised access and then built up trust with the mother and gradually over a period of time increase the length of your visits in order to achieve a deeper bond with your child and then maybe progress to unsupervised visits. Instead, at just 3 months old you thought youcould take your child away from her mother as if you are borrowing a lawnmower for the weekend. What mother on this planet would allow her precious 3 month old baby to be taken away by someone who by the sound of things, is a practical stranger?
Eat humble pie and if you really love your child like a father and not just a possession, you would see her under any circumstances, however restrained, rather than not see her at all.
The rights and wrongs of the situation aside, when you
see the heart and soul that has gone into creating this website and
feel the fatherly love, you know what a shame it is that little Nadia
is missing out on a relationship with her daddy.
You hear of so many situations where the dad is not interested in being
a dad but here is one with so much to give, just bursting for a chance
to give it - it's heart-breaking.
Nadia has a wee cousin Nina, my daughter, who is 6 weeks younger than
her, and I can't imagine the huge gap there would be in her little life
if for some reason her daddy wasn't there. Her relationship with him is
very different from her relationship with me - he teaches her things
from a totally different perspective. Of course she would get by but
she would be missing out on so much.. The love of a devoted father is a
very special thing - thankfully I see it every day.
Matt, I really hope Nadia gets the chance to know you while she's still
a wee girl - she would benefit so much from it - but if that doesn't
happen you'll always be her daddy and it's only a matter of time before
she knows it
Matt
I think you are an amazing person for doing this website and saying the
truth. I wish my boyfriend was more like you as he has 4 children by 2
women and they are both evil. They use their children to hurt him and
make him feel guilty, threatened him with access and basically control
him. So he has to do as he is told or he cant see his kids and Ive had
enough! Pure evil they are. Would love to display their names to the
public one day. Ive joined fathers for justice website to see what is
all about and maybe I can chip in one day and help you poor men who
have to suffer. Don't give up fighting, you have thousands to support
you.
Kim, Kidderminster
21 July 2009
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Matt, I really do wish you good luck in your fight for your daughter.
I`m with U !! Don't give up
Agnieszka, Poland
16 July 2009
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Matt. I admire that you have set up your website.
I have experience of your situation and the courts and the emotional
distress that this is causing you. Truly I do and have been in the
depths of despairdeeper than anyhing in my life. I also have
experience of achieving what you want to achieve and can I offer you
some fundamental advise? It will sound direct because I am. It is
given with only good intent. I have residence of two wonderful
children and have a full relationship with them after the most
determined and full on nasty attempt to stop my seeing them over years.
I have changed and transformed my life to achieve that because I love
them dearly.
1. You no longer have any relationship with your ex at all. You will
never agree anything out of court-period. There is no hope that she
will see 'reason' or 'care' about your relationship with your daugther
or have any empathy with your feelings. --What you want is a
relationship with your child not your ex--. Every time you ask her to
'see reason' 'change her opinion' 'just give a little' write another
conciliatory letter to her, 'wait until she comes around' you are
trying to continue what you had and stupidly imagine you still have.
You do not. I say it again you do not. You are failing your daughter
and messing up her life in the future if you think anything else.
2. Take action now and keep taking it. Go to court now, not next month
or next year or after the next request for mediation or letter or
tearful night, or drunk night- now. Put the beer down, TV off and get
online and get the application forms now. If you do not start the
process now you are failing your daughter from now and you are failing
your role as father. If you love her you will decide to do anything
for her and that means fighting now for HER rights
3. Your daughter is too young to protect her rights and remember and
you are doing it on her behalf. Your role is to protect her human
rights- your her dad ,thats what we you do best, better than anyone in
the world, better than her mother and you can easily demonstrate that.
You are the expert on getting it right for your daughter. She will
thank you for doing it from the bottom of her heart when she is 18.
Tell everyone that's exactly what you are doing every day. Not your
ex because you listened to the first point and changed.
3. If you believe it then it is true! I have gone through court with
the absolute conviction that the judges I have been in front of are
entirely human, skilled, fair, massively experienced and totally child
focused. If you stand in court and believe anything else about them
you will fail your daughter and look a fool. Each one has lived up to
my beliefs about them and I have the greatest respect for them and they
will give it back to me.
If you have respect they will listen if you express your beliefs that
they have got it wrong and have missed some fact. they are human and
caring.
4. You will get exactly what you believe you and your daughter are
entitled to as a relationship. Your daughter is entitled in her own
human rights to a FULL and personal relationship with you and so you
with her. Always know and believe that and it will happen. Stick to
that regardless of any suggestion from anyone you meet on the journey.
Tactfully and humanly tell anyone that suggests otherwise they are
wrong, sexist and immmoral for believing that you do not have that
right. Cafcass included. They will soon change tack when they see
your integrity and honesty and love for your daughter.
5. Every worthwhile goal has setbacks and a knockback is simply there
to test your love for your daughter and give you more determination.
Please be assured that I say these things from experience and for only
one reason- to support you to have a loving realtionship with your
daughter. You have to give her away at her wedding someday and
honestly tell the whole audience that you would walk to the end of the
world for her. Start walking now mate and keep walking until you
succeed for her.
N
16 July 2009
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Wish you all the best Matt, hope one day Nadia will read
this story and be very proud of you. You did a great thing with this
website. Good luck.
Malwina, Edinburgh
30 June 2009
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Too many men suffer in this way, when will it ever change. Dads are not second class citizens. It is the children who miss out and suffer the most and thats a sad fact but many good dads suffer too. Your situation is sad but unfortunately common. Keep with it and dont give up. You will regret it if you do.
Mark, Wales
29 June 2009
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I hope you and Anna will find best solution - not for
yourselves but for Nadia - she is the one who will suffer the most in
this situation...
Wiola, Poland/Scotland
29 June 2009
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A lot of dads are going through exactly this same thing and it's not easy. We ALL know what you are going through and we ALL can sympathise with you. Reading the site just makes me remember how things were for me and my little girl now a year ago and now things have changed. How did they change? Social Services got involved.
They are hated by many fathers and I can understand why. I don't entirely trust them myself but given the situation you are in where you don't see your daughter, how about trying them? It's a case of the Devil or the Devil. Neither is without problems but it's an option. Especially as the mother says you will be emotionally or pshychologically damaging. She is actually being emotionally or pshychologically damaging. It's an option. Not a great one but it's still an option. It worked for me. I now have half holidays, 2 days a week and every weekend. This time last year I hadn't seen her for 4 months (and in November I still hadn't seen her).
Neil, UK did make a good point. If men don't stand up for themselves this is what we will all get. As a former member of F4J, joining them isn't the answer. Neither is FNF or RFFJ or any other group. They are great organisations for help and support but join them knowing you won't be changing the world. As a former F4J member and a current RFFJ member I think I can speak on that. Even though I look to be over the worst of my issues with my daughter, I will continue to support RFFJ while I have money in my pocket.
What we need is ONE organisation that will represent all fathers and get things moving and keep the momentum and media focused consistently. Not just every time somebody clims a crane or a roof but continuously. F4J, FNF and others should work together to make this happen.
Fortunately for the government us fathers are all too worn down and stupid to put aside petty political differences and do this. The oldest strategy of all still works today - divide and conquer. Until we overcome this, we will NEVER get justice for our kids.
Matt, I really really do wish you good luck in your fight for your daughter. Don't give up. Please. There are too many kids out there who have never had one parent or another in their lives and don't let your daughter be another. Deep breath mate, say you'll handle it and ALWAYS keep your cool (we ALL know how difficult that is). You'll get there and so will your daughter but it's a very VERY long road. Be prepared for it.
Paul, UK
26 June 2009
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Welcome to English /Welsh law. Never give up - still hoping after 7 years but 1 day the children of today will find out the truth. us dads have had our hands tied from the moment they are born and we will be their to pick the mess up that that the law /mums have made. Our time will come. It's a never ending story. Best of luck, you are not alone. we live in a small world now and our kids will know where to look, right here just like you found us and we found you.
terryshaddy@aol.com
Terry Shaddy, UK
26 June 2009
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Hi matt. Im sorry to read the sad situation youre in but i have to say, you had your child in 2008 - where have you been the last 5 years? Timbuktu? Fathers 4 Justice have been climbing all over Britain telling men they are at the mercy of their partners regarding their children. If men wont join Fathers 4 Justice before they have children, this is what theyll get. I hope things will change in the future for you. best wishes.
Neil, UK
24 June 2009
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A very moving story of a father being denied contact and alienated from his child over time, unfortunately all too common nowadays.
At Rffj we hear this kind of situation daily, that's why the protests against the government and the mechanisms of family law must continue.
Toon.
Real Fathers For Justice
www.realfathersforjustice.org
19 June 2009
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I hope you get to see your daughter. I have a potentially similar situation to you but thankfully it never quite got that far - although there was a couple of month period where i didnt see my son when he was small because i wasnt 'allowed'. Thankfully, over time for me things got easier and i have regular access and do anything to see my son - this includes turning a blind eye/ignoring comments that still get thrown at me while she flex's her muscles with the threat of taking my son away from me. But it gets easier, kids get older, and understand more and that brings with it a certain level of maturity on all sides to keep things happy and as normal as possible for the sake of everyone.
Billzy, England
19 June 2009
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It is very sad your not allowed to tend to your little one. I am sure things will improve given time.
Isabel MacIntyre, Fairmilehead, Scotland
19 June 2009
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Hi Matt,
Here at FNF we're really sad to hear about your story - unfortunately it's one we hear only too often - but we're glad you're channelling your energy into something positive.
Keep up the good work and come and see us if you need a helping hand.
All the best,
Nick @ Families Need Fathers
www.fnf.org.uk
17 June 2009
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You have my support mate, hope you get to see your daughter and everything works out well for you.
All the best,
Kal
17 June 2009
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Matt, great site. One can really feel the father's love that went into
it. It is criminal that you are being deprived of a relationship with
your
daughter. It is even worse that she is being deprived of a relationship
with you. Nadia is not a bargaining chip, she is a human being and Anna
should realise that. There is no sane or rational reason to stop a good
man being a loving, caring and guiding presence in a child's life. Good
luck!
Chris Campbell, Northern Ireland
16 June 2009
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My name is Jay Mistry and I live in Leicester, I have
known Matt for a good part of 12 years and I know the history of this
matter as Matt has always kept me updated from almost day one. I know
Matt has really suffered during this time simply because of not being able
to see his daughter and the problems he encountered from the mother of
Nadia. I have told Matt this already and I have to say for a father to
go these lengths shows how much he cares and is willing for people out
there to listen to his story and give some feedback. I'm sure there are
1000s of fathers out there who have similar stories and do not know
how to bring attention to their situation. I can now see why thoses
fathers who dressed up as comic heroes and climbed up buildings as
a way of getting attention to their stories. As a society we seem
to forget the fathers rights and hopefully this site can bring light to
people around the world that a father has as much right to see and
spend time with their child as the mother does
Jay Mistry, Leicester
15 June 2009
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Good Luck with this Matt I couldn't imagine to begin
what you must be going through and now that I am a father I fully
understand where your coming from. I hope Nadia's mother sees sense
and allows you to become an active parent like you wish to be as every
child has a right to have not only the mother but also the father in
their life.
All The Best.
James Ford, Musselburgh
15 June 2009
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Matt I wish you all the luck in the world in your quest
to be an active father in Nadia's life. I will spread the word to my
friends & family about this site. Good Luck. Fiona
Fiona Ferguson, Musselburgh
15 June 2009
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Really hope you can see your child soon mate.
I'll try to spread the word about your site as much as I can.
Billy, Glasgow
11 June 2009
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Your site is excellent MATT and i wish you the very best of luck.
Willie Munchetty, Cardiff
11 June 2009____________________
Be advised to brace yourself for the court processes. I speak from experience and a divorced father. Reason has little effect on women who are capable of this **** so think hard if you are prepared to tough it out for the next 20 plus years. I sympathise fully.
best of luck
Mark Bailey, Northampton
7 June 2009____________________
Mat not the rant I was expecting from a tell all web site. children require both parents, thats the definitive arguement.
Jemma @ Redwoods
6 June 2009____________________
I cant say i know what you are going through having never been in your
position, but I believe all fathers should have the right to their
child no matter race creed or colour.
I cannot judge anna having never known her but i do feel that what ever
her reasons they should not be inflicted on Nadia. I truly hope that
you can make anna see reason or that somewhere somehow you are given
the chance you deserve.
Steelybroom@gmail.com
Alec
3 June 2009____________________
this brings a lot home for me because i never knew my father,
had always believed he left when I was a baby. At 19 I discovered
this wasnt exactly true, its impossible to describe that. no one can tell you what to do but for your child i hope you wont stop.
sincerely
Mandy M, England
2 June 2009
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My ex partner stopped me seeing our 2 yr old when we seperated so I know how you feel. 1 year on ive seen my kid just once.
Iain Clelland, Scotland
2 June 2009____________________
I admire what you do this website and you keep your calmness but i dont
know how you can make a change on situation. I wish a good luck for you and
daughter.
Bobby Choi, South Korea
2 June 2009____________________
Matt
I truly believe what u are doing is right, you should fight for the
right to be in Nadias life, she deserves her father to be there for
her. From my experience i wish i had had my father in my life and i am
sad my mother made that decision not to allow him to bring me up. I
find it very sad what is happening and i dont believe what Anna is
doing is benefiting Nadia. Your daughter needs you dont ever give up
Matt she will be very proud of her dad.
Emma Taylor, Edinburgh
emut21@yahoo.co.uk2 June 2009____________________