End Note
I've always been completely honest with the mother and I told her from the start that I completely accepted my role as a father - and I have backed that up since Nadia was born by visting weekly and offering money and my total commitment and involvement. When she wanted anything (our daughter's passport, to discuss things etc.) I'd always go the following day. I was always civil and polite to her family and I flew my mum out from Scotland to meet Nadia.
I'm not saying I deserve a medal - I've made mistakes and said and done things I shouldn't have - but I have done nothing to justify being shut out my kid's life.
Nadia's mum told me before she gave birth that she hadn't yet decided if she would let me see the baby because I may be a 'mean man'. Well apart from the fact I'm not a mean man (and ignoring her sitting in judgement of my right to fatherhood), even if a guy was a 'mean man' - if he lied, told some woman he loved her, cheated on her, dumped her or ran away when she got pregnant (none of which I did) or was nasty to her in some other way, it doesn't give any mother the right to punish him - or the child by denying her a relationship with her father.
Our daughter has a right to a proper relationship with both parents.
Nadia's mum seems to confuse her own needs with Nadia's needs but Nadia is a separate person with her own needs.
As father and daughter Nadia and I are both have the right to that relationship. She's the one in the middle of this and unless things change is going to start wondering one day where her Dad is (and grandparents, aunts, uncles, cousins, friends and possibly even a little brother or sister some day). These people are all her family, we're all a part of her life and her identity, and she has every right as an individual little person to know all of us.