The Situation
The mother told me in April 2008 with our daughter at 3 months that children should never be alone with their father because it could harm them "psychologicaly and emotionally". It means I cant visit my daughter or play with her without the mother supervising me. I can't even babysit my own baby! THe mother also used this 'reason' to stop me doing simple things like taking our baby for a walk in her pram. She also told me she wouldnt accept my help and involvement in raising our child and refuses to update me on her progress, hospital visits, nursery, schooling etc. she also refuses to send photos.
She doesn't think I pose any kind of danger, it's just her view (she says) that a child should never be alone with its father. Either she really believes this or just uses it for her own different motives. She found it difficult to accept us not getting together when she got pregnant however separate parents are hardly uncommon these days and a couple getting together for 'the sake of the child' seems quite archaic, and it's doubtful if it's good for a child anyway.
According to every book, expert, website and authoritiy I've read on this, where parents are separated, it's very important for the children to spend time with each parent. Yet the mother believes this can harm children.
Court is a last resort. If the mother can't see this for herself then with or without court there would always be problems and animosity (Court). I can't understand why a mother wouldn't want her own child's father involved in the child's life and I still have some hope she might realise that one day.
My website is to tell the truth (or if that sounds one sided then it is to tell my side). There have been too many lies and half-truth around this and most people close to it know only the mother's side. If you are someone who knows Nadia and you care for her then I hope you will read this with an open mind because everything on here is true.
I have tried absolutely everything I can to discuss this with the mother and reason with her but she just ignored me if I say something she doesn't agree with - she has all the power here and she knows it.
I know the website isnt exactly ideal but I want what's best for my daughter and this situation has to change for her sake. I'm not trying to hurt or embarrass Anna or say she is all bad - far from it, we've both made mistakes. The point is none of that matters - only Nadia matters and if there is even the smallest chance this web site can have some effect then its a good enough reason to do it. The mother has left me no choice and with nothing to lose - I'm totally shut out of my daughter's life while she has no relationship with her father.
The importance of a father in a child's life.
The other reason for this website is to describe this from a father's perspective and show how easily fathers can be pushed out of their child's life by the mother. Parental Responsibility is the legal guideline for parenting in the UK but there is no practical right. My story isn't uncommon (it's mild by comparison). I've learned through organisations and forums and other single dads how often this happens, and how, even with court, dads can do little when they are up against a mother who is either too possessive with their children or who is prepared to use their children to punish and control their children's fathers.
I want to be a father to my child. Nothing more. To be involved in and part of her life and her upbringing, supporting her financially, visiting her, being a dad for her, letting her know she's loved, guiding her, teaching her, being there for her in every way a father is for his child. I have a right to that relationship, as does my daughter and there's only one reason we don't have that relationship and that's because the mother, for some reason, doesn't want it.
NOTE
When I use the word father, I mean a fully involved co-parent. Nadia's mum will say she wants me to be a father too but what she really means is a supervised visitor with no say or involvement in the child's life (not to mention someone who can is controlled at will by the mother). I'm talking about being a real father.